Torn

Okay I've got some things to say i suppose and i don't really do that, like ummm... ever anymore because i'm not as hmm...exactly as opinionated as i once way, i really have mellowed out, but with that it seems that i hold in alot more of my emotions and i don't know what to say. so when speech fails me i can blog:) I've kind of been torn between two, well actually three people of the opposite gender, one I love... but it seems like he doesn't relate to me and sometimes just plain annoys me , the other I also love in a different way like for example if anything ever happened to him i wouldn't be able to live my life like I do now and there's a very good chance that something could happen to him, it's always in the back of my mind that i can't act around him like i would with anyone lets say "normal" for lack of a better word, And last but not least is someone that i used to love and deep down will always have a special place in my heart for. #3 is a good friend who has helped me through up and downs and he's what i'll measure every relationship i ever have up to. #2 is my best friend and #1 obviously is my boyfriend. anyways i don't really know what i'm getting at i'm just confused or something i've never had feelings for two people at once and it scares me.
now here's the second thing weighing on my mind, music. I love to play the piano and have actually gotten quite good with tons of practice. but sometimes i sit down to play and get furious because the reason i play passed on that family member used to sit at that piano with me until our fingers turned blue he had the patience of a saint and i love him more then words will ever explain, now heres the problem the man who has "replaced" him is the sweetest man on earth and that also frustrates me because i want to not like him but i can't he is amazing.
i know none of this makes sence to anyone but me so i'm going to head out but i have good news i just found out that i can have a puppy and he'll be ready to pick up right around my birthday.
peace whitney